I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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