Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
