So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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