I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
