I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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