I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
