i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
