therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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