I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
