i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
