we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
