She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
