What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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