what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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