i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
