this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
