I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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