i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
