Soap is not a condiment
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
