did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
