Me too!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
