I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
