saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
