I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
