He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
