so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
