You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
