Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
