like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
