Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
