my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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