You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My bed smells like the plague
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
