i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
