So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
