he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
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