Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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