just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
two words: eviction party
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
