so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
