Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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