Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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