It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize