You're completely useless in the revolution.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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