I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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