forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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