so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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