Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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