The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wanna go halves on a baby?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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