is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Found the puke drawer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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