...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
