at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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