So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Randomize