Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
