my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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