Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
