so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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