dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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