got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
