yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
