my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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