this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize