Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
