tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
