sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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