There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
