Define "chronic" masturbator.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
