but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
