you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
