Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
