hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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