it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
