You're so nebulous sometimes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
